| | Finally, today I started the tests needed to get me started on the drug trial. On the schedule was an MRI, CT scan, neurological exams, blood work and an eye exam. Remember this is all in San Antonio so I had to drive in yesterday afternoon and stayed at the hotel provided. Sadly I didn't sleep well, haven't in a while, so I think that added to this morning's fiasco. I have had four or five MRI's since being diagnosed, and all but one have been in a traditional closed machine (think long tube that you're wheeled into after being tucked in like a baby). Always I've been able to look up at the mirror that's positioned so that I can see out of the tube into the room beyond. The last MRI I had had issues with the mirror and it wasn't positioned correctly but I was still able to see the room and talk myself out of panicking. Today that was not the case. The mirror would not come down any lower and as soon as he wheeled me in the tube I freaked. I didn't exactly screamed and flail about but I started crying right away and begging to be taken out of the machine. I couldn't calm down and couldn't talk myself into going back into it (not for 45 minutes). But since I'd driven myself and didn't have anyone with me they couldn't sedate me. Unfortunately I had to reschedule the MRI which will push back when I can start the new drug. I did get the CT test, but since it was at the same place and I was so tired, I cried the entire time even though it wasn't invasive and was wide open. I think I was just worn down.
I went to the neurological center to more tests run. I'm such a nerd that I hear the word 'test' I think I have to do amazing on it. There was one test where they'd give you a series of numbers with about three seconds between each number. The idea is that you add the two numbers and then add the second and third number and then the third and fourth number... (for example if I heard 3...6....1... I'd say 9 after 3 and 6 and then 7 after 1). It's really challenging because you have remember the last number you heard from the voice when you've just said a number out loud and add it to the next number he says. My strategy varied from putting the last number said on my fingers to saying the sum out loud and then mentally repeating the number I'd heard. There are sixty numbers in a set so this takes a while.
Then they hooked me up to a heart ekg like monitor that I have to wear until tomorrow. It's kinda itchy but I'm being careful since I've already screwed up one test today. Tomorrow I'll have another pulmonary appointment and then check in with the neuro people again to turn in my monitor. When I come back on the 12th I'll have a dermatology appointment and the MRI. Please pray that the sedation knocks me out. I'm going to be even more nervous knowing the panic attack I had this time.
The one good thing that happened was that I've lost 15 lbs without trying. Now it's probably been about a year since I was officially weighed and as soon as I get home I'm going to double check but it was a pleasant surprise. Unfortunately it goes to show that weight is just a number. My clothes don't really seem to fit that much smaller, but seeing the smaller number is helping motivate me to start focusing on my health better when I get back home. |
| | Posted 7/31/2008 5:29 PM - 48 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments
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